|rhapsodies of the life of Glen Abraham Liang|

The Lord Jesus blesses Glen with Thursday, December 22, 2005

All before I forget

hey i noe this might sound ridiculous.
i just felt like expressing my thoughts here.
ya i shdn't be talking like this.
cos i might sound immature here.
but just let me be like this okay?
let me be a little emotional.
n i'll feel better aft this.

you noe wat.
how i wished i only had a crush on you.
then things wud've been so much easier to let go.
but the thing is i didn't merely have a crush on you.
n it's damn hard to forget someone whom i liked so deeply before.

i mean.
i'm really struggling to remove tt fondness of you.
but i'm sure i'll be able to do tt very soon, hopefully.

it's just like the chorus of Jay Chou's Gui Ji (Train Tracks).
this is slightly different frm the original's:

I will stare into space
And forget you
Then tightly shut my eyes.
Thinking of that day
When there'll be someone to replace you
It'll stop me from missing you anymore.

I will stare into space
And smile slightly
Then tightly shut my eyes.
Reminiscing once again
The gentle face of yours
All before I forget.

this is gonna be painful n difficult.
but i believe strongly tt it's gonna be good.
cos i realise one thing.
i can get to noe a gal well only when i have no feelings for her.

so don't worry.
just gimme some more time.
i'll soon be able to treat you purely as a very good friend.
an awfully good friend.

TYR.

Glen dunked at 12/22/2005 9:31:26 am

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The Lord Jesus blesses Glen with Friday, December 16, 2005

PAE 2005

praise God!

Glen dunked at 12/16/2005 10:34:53 am

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The Lord Jesus blesses Glen with Wednesday, December 07, 2005

13 days in Thailand, 8 days of village life

ya i'm back frm thailand.
just like the other mission-trippers, i wish i'm still there.

but well, i guess 2 weeks were just enough.
1 week wud be too short.
anything more thn 2 weeks wud make the trip dry.

hmmm.
there are actually 3 things tt i miss at the moment.
1. the O levels.
2. thailand
3. the times i experienced mutual fondness in 2004

i've just got alot of things to talk abt.
perhaps i'm just nagging.
but if u're able to read it all, i'll appreciate it very much.
(this entry is rather vague.
so for more details pls contact one of our team members.
or u can talk to us face-to-face.)

if u wanna see the pics i took during the trip, lemme noe.

i'll invite u to my online albums.

okay.

u noe wat.
i discovered tt the O's had actually caused me to neglect many things.
i had to give up bball, of cos.
but tt was only abt 1 month before the O's started.
i skipped teens' time on sats.
missed out tonnes of fellowship n spiritual lessons.
i didn't turn up for mission dance practices.
so in thailand i made all kinds of silly blunders during dances.
my point is, i've become a boring n funless person - a bland gland.

in the midst of these, i prayed to God.

tt i may become a different person aft the O's.
n He really did tt when i went to thailand!
it just came so naturally.
i felt so comfortable w/ the youth team during the trip.
tt i kept farting n knocking out all my room-mates.

"wow, tt's a nasty change, Lord!"

this yr's trip was very much different frm last yr's.
in fact, i think it's better.
n i enjoyed myself very much.
altho she wasn't part of the team this yr.
it was a revelation of me tt was nearly my true true self.
n i wished she was there to see the other side of me.

2 Corinthians 5:17
If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation;
the old has gone, the new has come!

alright here're the highlights of the trip in my perspective:

22 Nov - Sensuk, our base village.
it felt like we hadn't seen each other for only a week rather thn a yr.

23 Nov - Pamaiuti.
i took a pic w/ a chinese-looking gal named Pimpa last yr.
n i tried to look for her this yr.
don't get the wrong idea; she's ony 9 i think.

i cudn't find Pimpa.
instead, i managed to find one of her peers, Suktiklah.
n she told me Pimpa was in another village, Mae Sai.

Suktiklah was oso one of the village kids we saw last yr.
she's cheerful n bubbly.
she's oso pro at 5-stones n skipping.

she isn't as shy as the other kids.

she brought me arnd the village.
tho i cudn't speak much of the language there.
all we did was gesturing.

she just stands out frm the rest.
n i had the intention of adopting her as a sister.
when i have the ability to do so in the future.
as in supporting her financially like some of the adults are doing.

24 Nov - Ngabehngaya (Banana Village)

the village church has a drumset!
wow it was the 1st time i saw a drumset in a village church!
Amy threw me a caption tt i can use for one of my pics there.
Modern things in an ancient setting
lol.
cool gal.

later tt day, we went to a new Shan village.
i was told tt i was gonna give my testimony.
i was so excited cos i never did tt last yr.
i wanted to share mine in Mandarin this yr.
so i began to ask Uncle Chi Loong for help.

to translate my testimony to Mandarin.
(there were Chinese-speaking interpreters during the trip)

it was finally prepared, but sadly we hadn't enough time.
so i cudn't give my testimony tt night.
oso, i didn't get to share my testimony for the rest of the trip.
cos the Chinese interpreters had to return home.
of cos i was disappointed.
but i had to accept tt everything happened according to God's will.

aft dinner back at Sensuk, there was a debrief session.
i think it's called a thrash-out session.
cos each of us was encouraged to voice out our opinions.

opinions of one another, mainly criticisms.
surprisingly, it wasn't initiated by any of the older ones.
it was led by Amy, Lyndon n my sis.

at tt time, Daniel n i were the oldest there.
cos Nigel, Grace, Eveleen, Lydia, etc. were in the other team.
so i actually felt awkward.
esp when Lyndon sounded as if he was older than most of us.
when he was in fact one of the youngest.
i'm very guilty now as i voice out my view of him.
cos i was supposed to do this on tt night.

u might think i'm biased towards Amy n my sis.
but i think both of them led the session well, esp Amy.
however, Lyndon didn't sound convincing enough.
probably cos i notice he has double standards.

on one side he sounded mature in delivering his message.
but on the other side, he doesn't set a good example.

cos it seems to me tt he's been trying to do things beyond his age.
for example, he was often seen w/ a walkie-talkie.

u see, i consider him one of the youngest.
he doesn't have many juniors under him.
the only younger ones are Kathy, Alyssa n Georgia.
n don't forget his contemporaries, Ryan, Demi n Shengren.

i'm probably the only one who feels this way.
but pls let me voice it out.
i'm not criticising Lyndon.
i'm just not used to his nature of dominance.
i respect him cos he respects me.
but i hope he can show the same degree of respect to his peers.

i noe i sound very vague here.
i feel tt i'm starting to hate blogging.
i'm no longer the kind of blogger i used to be.
i'm now so long-winded la.

Lyndon, i sincerely hope u don't misunderstand my true intention of this.

there's actually a positive side to tt session.

i learnt a very important lesson frm Amy.
"we're to make God the centre of everything we do here.
everything must be abt Him.
our conversations shd be Godly.
we shdn't go arnd asking each other who he/she likes."
man, this gal taught me a lot during the trip u noe.
n i thk God for her.

25 Nov - Sensuk

quite a relaxing day.
had free time.
n Uncle James suggested caving for the youth team!
can u believe tt?
haha.

only most of us went.
joel chose to slack w/ the aunties back in Sensuk.
i think they went to visit some royal garden or wat.
must be very very boring for them.
LOL!

yup so the rest of us went caving.
the teens frm Sensuk joined us too.

it was a very special experience for me.
inside the cave, most of the ground was slimy n slippery.
i'm sure many of us S'poreans slipped n fell.
but the Sensukees seemed very pro at it.
they cud walk nonchalantly thru the dark areas.

i found out later it wasn't their 1st time.
anyway i learnt correct Thai pronunciations frm some of them.
for words like "Bird Tong Chai" n "Tom Yum Goong".

one thing touched me deeply tt night during night devotion.
we were listing out the prayer items.
n i was surprised to hear my name.
"pray for Glen as he's our videographer.
pray tt in the midst of his busyness he'll not be left out.
tt he'll join us in fellowship whenever he can."
n guess wat, Amy offered to pray for me!
thks Amy, i'm so touched.

yup it's really a sacrifice serving in videography (videos+photos).
just like wat Marian posted in her blog:

"hmm.
today. i was a photographer.
and realised one bad thing abt being one..
u'll won't be part of the grp shots,
and ur personal fun times aren't really captured on film.
but, one thing that keeps us gg...
is that we help ppl capture moments to cherish.
cool ar. i can help ppl! haha. in a deeper sense."
thks Marian, we share the same sentiments.

oh ya aft the night devotion, Lydia called the older ones together.
she poured her heart out to us.
u see, all the older leaders were not w/ us this yr.
Vincent, Dennis, Jasper, Zheng Qin, etc. cudn't make it.
we were seriously 'handicapped'.

Lydia had to shoulder a great deal of responsibilities.
altho the rest of us were supposed to go alongside w/ her.

i'm ashamed tt i've not been of good help to her.
she shared w/ us her dilemma n struggles.
"u noe it's very hard for me.
to obey the commands of Uncle James.
n meanwhile meet the needs of Aunty Christianne."
Lydia, sorry for not helping u much during the trip.
thks for all ur sacrifices n understanding towards us.

26-28 Nov - Mehmon

we left Sensuk n arrived at Mehmon.
Marian n i were inspired by a young man.
he can speak Mandarin n his name is Ah Yong.
we noticed he was smiling every time we saw him.

Marian said it's as if his smiles were powered by batteries.
true, he never stopped putting on his smile when he talked to us.
so i decided to call him The Batteried Smiler.
we all shd learn frm Ah Yong, The Batteried Smiler!

one sad thing abt Mehmon was tt i experienced spiritual dryness there.

it was similar to last yr's, but it lasted only for 3 days.
initially, i felt left out when the bulk of the youth team went to Samakkhi School.
cos they were all talking abt it ovr dinner when they returned.

but later i thanked God i wasn't involved in the school outreach.
i was together w/ the leftovers at Mehmon doing medical work.
Joel, Selene, Eveleen, Amy n my sis.
i was thkful tt i was able to bond closer to the leftover ppl.
n i cud experience much peace n serenity in the village.
haha.

last yr, i wasn't chosen to go to Samakkhi School too.
so i believe it must have been God's will.
cos if i had gone there, i'd been distracted n lost focus on God.
i guess u noe wat i'm referring to.
i'm a person who loses focus easily.
so i praise God tt i din go to Samakkhi School these 2 trips.
hmmm perhaps when i'm more mature next yr, God will allow me to go there!
lol.

30 Nov - Pa(ng) Daeng

tt was the place where i reached my spiritual peak of the trip.
i felt extremely happy n high.

my spiritual dryness vanished.
n it was as if i was on the top of a mountain.

tt afternoon we had free time.
so Joel, the drivers n i joined the school boys in football.
i enjoyed the game very much.
altho i only scored a goal n it was an own goal.
the Thai boys were very pro n fast.
Joel n i were in opposing teams.
score was 9-9.

tt night i let loose of myself.
those who were there almost saw my true true self.
i told them, "shit i think i'm possessed by my sis!"

my sis wasn't in my team tt day.
so i felt as if i was compensating for her absence then.
i became childish.
so embarrassing.

01-03 Dec - Care Corner
i was actually excited upon reaching there.
cos i tot we cud lead worship like last yr.
n i cud play drums.
so Nigel, Marian, Avriel n i practised tt afternoon.
but in the end we didn't manage to lead worship.
due to lack of time.
of cos i was disappointed.
but i'm content to be able to practise a little of drums there.

there's another thing i'm thkful to God for at Care Corner.
or rather it's a person, Daniel Lum.

cos u see, i needed to defecate during lunch time.
i rem flushing my cake aft baking it.

but Avriel discovered the cake was still there.
when we all returned to our bunk.

i think my cake got stuck so it wasn't flushed down.

u noe wat, Daniel actually helped me clear my cake.
he took a deep breath, outside the toilet of cos, n then entered it.
he took the (wat do u call tt?) brush n pushed my cake into the hole.

the funny thing is i didn't ask for help at all.
n this guy simply does the cleaning job for me.
u noe wat he said aft tt?
"Glen, don't get the wrong idea.
toilet cleaning isn't my ambition."

okay on a serious note, i thk God for Daniel.
for being so willing n taking the initiative to help others.
even if it means to w/stand foul smells.
he's just so brave!

Niel Niel,
if i were a fish i wud swim to u.
if i were a bird i wud fly to u.

if i were a girl i wud marry u.
u're my Fear Factor hero!

Overall Review

okay there ain't much to talk abt for the rest of the trip.

cos the bulk of my enjoyment came frm the village life.
n the last few days of the trip were spent in the city area.

generally, this yr's trip has been a more relaxing one.
cos i felt tt there was more time to pause n reflect.
my spiritual dryness was minimal.
perhaps it's bcos i did my quiet time.
ah i learnt my lesson last yr.

this trip i oso experienced much less snoring.
cos last yr some of us were sleeping w/ the uncles.
Uncle James n Uncle Siang Hock were fantastic snorers.
this yr, there was only heavy breathing frm Daniel, Nigel n Avriel.
so thk God!

hmmm.
one thing tt i failed in was my waterboy duties.
last yr i think i did quite a good job.
i dunno why this yr i cudn't.
i merely switched frm pure photography to videography.
n i became much busier n more pre-occupied.
thk God Aunty Joanne brought it up to Uncle James.
n he was understanding enough to allow me to choose a successor.

i tot Daniel had to help Lydia.
n the younger boys were too young.
so the only person left was Joel.
i tot he wud be able to do a good job cos of his helpful nature.
but i guess he was inexperienced.
so in the end i still did most of the duties, in a lousy manner of cos.

one thing i wanna give thks to God for is my great health.
i wanna give credit to all those who prayed for me.
especially my prayer partners, Neale n Zheng Qin.
during the whole mission trip, i never fell sick.

so i tot it must have been the prayers of Neale n Zheng.

the only time when i wasn't in my best health was the last night.

my nose bled the next morning.
cos we went shopping n i had rare chances of drinking water.

so i cud feel i was beginning to decay.
but it wasn't a Godly activity so it wasn't counted as part of mission.

i felt ashamed as a Christian when we went bargaining arnd.
i'm sure Amy felt tt too.
she was like "Daniel, they have to make a living u noe."
no wonder Daniel told me shopping cannot be done w/ Amy.
u'll feel bad n might end up spending excessively.

i agreed w/ Amy but i went ahead w/ the rest in bargaining.

i kept apologising to God whenever i bluffed the shopowners.
tt i only had 100 baht left when i actually had 1000 baht hidden in my wallet.
so sinful!
so unGodly!
can someone tell me how to deal w/ this?
no more shopping?
no way!
like tt how to buy cheap clothes for ppl back in S'pore?
oops.

i oso wanna thk God for the aunties during the trip.
Aunty Christianne, Aunty Anne n Aunty Joanne.
i never expected milo, cup noodles, hot chocolate, etc. on a mission trip.
yet these aunties were preparing all these stuff for us almost every night.
wa seh, i can't imagine myself doing tt.
i mean, they're already so tired aft a long day's work.
but they still served us food n drinks.

during this trip God oso revealed to me the selflessness of some ppl.
like in the case of the aunties.
i oso saw other selfless ppl like the Lum bros.
whenever the younger boys fell sick, the 2 of them wud always be there.
i rem seeing Daniel still awake, beside sick Avriel in Mehmon one night.
these ppl are very heartwarming.
they are the ones who display the true meaning of missionary work.

i give thks too for Uncle James.

i feel tt he's very much different frm the last trip.
Lydia said he's very different frm the 1st trip she went.
hers was yrs ago, but i cud already see the diff in only one yr.
i cud sense his humour more easily n he's less stern.
in the past, i only saw him as a hard-hearted man.
but now i see him as a God-loving man called Mustacho!

another thing tt spurred me on during this trip was SMSes.
there are many who sent me encouraging SMSes.

i wanna thk God for Uncle Vincent.
he didn't sms me but i wanna thk God tt he constantly smsed Lydia.
w/o his smses to Lydia, i think we'd have faced lots of obstacles.
cos Lydia wud share w/ us every verse/passage tt Vincent sent her.
w/o Vincent's smses, i doubt Lydia wud be strong enough to lead us all.
Vincent, thks for reminding me of God's grace to all of us.

i oso wanna thk God for Sheng Ren.
honestly, i didn't have a good impression of him initially.
i was really puzzled why Uncle James allowed him to join us.
or rather why God allowed tt.
cos i felt tt Sheng Ren was a new face to me.
n i really doubt he shd be in the mission team.

but later, God revealed His reason for placing Sheng Ren w/ us.

at the start of the trip, many of us were teasing him n gossipping abt him.
then guess wat, Amy suddenly reprimanded us.
"can y'all stop making Sheng Ren ur target of fun-making?"
i was shocked of cos.
but at the same time, i was shaken awake by her words.

i began to notice the funny side of Sheng Ren during the trip.
ya, he has been very unhygienic.
bathing not 6 times a day, but 6 times for the whole trip.
new record perhaps.
n he treated his upper clothes as his tissue papers.
depositing his mucus everywhere he went.

but i chose to laugh it off.
when others look in disgust.

there are oso other things abt him tt sometimes got in our way.
but i believe God placed him in this trip for a reason.
to test our endurance n love for the unhygienic.
haha.
All the way, Mucus Boy!

one thing i'm grateful to God for is His strength.
u see, last yr, halfway thru the trip i began drinking RedBull.
actually it wasn't my fault.
one of the drivers, Boon Tong, offered me one can to try.
okay la, it was my fault.
cos i accepted it.

aft drinking it i felt so energised.
i cud run up a slope when others were lazy/tired to even walk up.

for the rest of the trip i took hold of every chance to buy RedBull.
i depended on it instead of God for strength n energy.

this yr's different.
i never drank RedBull at all!
Amen?
Hallelujah!

at Sensuk, i saw the younger boys buying lots of RedBull.
n Lydia was telling them, "no RedBull!"
then i added something.
"we shd be depending on God for strength instead of RedBull."

i felt so guilty aft saying tt.
cos i drank it myself last yr.
n now i must make sure i didn't touch RedBull in this trip.

but thk God my words pressurised myself to do the right thing.
n God has been faithful to keep me energised every morning.

i tot i was gonna drink one can on the last night.
cos i knew we were gonna do late-night shopping.
moreover, it wasn't a Godly activity.
so it wud be wrong to depend on God for energy for shopping.
but in the end God provided me energy w/o RedBull!

hmmm okay, lastly, i just wanna say God has been good to me.
initially i tot my focus was gonna be wrong this yr for mission.
cos i actually tot of purely relaxing aft the O's in thailand.

n i didn't really hear God's calling.

i went for the trip purely bcos i loved it last yr.
but God gave me work to do there.
i was the videographer.

God revealed my informal side to the other members.
He oso revealed to me the selflessness of my teammates.
i'm just so glad i got to noe all those who went much better.

i really feel i'm a much different person during n aft the trip!

Glen dunked at 12/7/2005 10:52:17 am

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The Lord Jesus blesses Glen with Monday, November 21, 2005

22 November - 4 December 2005

leaving for thailand tmr.
be back in abt 2 weeks' time.

ppl/things i will miss:
my classmates.
my churchmates.
my father.
my under-nourished "brother", Koh Yong Seng.
my close friends.
my study partners.
my awfully good friend.

my blog.
etc.

22/11/2005
Depart Singapore: TG 402 0820 hrs

04/12/2005
Arrive Singapore: TG 409 1955 hrs

it'll be marvellous if you can pray for all of us!
thks.

hope i have time to blog abt my O's when i return frm thailand.

Glen dunked at 11/21/2005 6:02:37 pm

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The Lord Jesus blesses Glen with Sunday, September 25, 2005

Wake me up when September ends

last week of september is here.
it's oso the week of my prelim 2.
monday to friday only.
cos all are modified scaled-down papers.

may God bless my efforts.
this is my last chance to enter SAJC for the 1st 3 mths next yr.

wake me up
when September ends...

Glen dunked at 9/25/2005 7:11:01 pm

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The Lord Jesus blesses Glen with Sunday, September 11, 2005

Been thinking (about expectations & disappointments)

yup.

God has been inspiring me on this topic for many weeks.
n i've come across some examples pertaining this.
mainly frm friends.
but it was till recently when i got a taste of it myself.

my friends have been telling me abt their experiences.
n i told them my views n wat i wud do if it was me.
now it's my turn; God's testing me.
to see how i wud react to such situations.
thus i finally decided to pen down my inspirations here.

i hope God will help me organise the thots in my mind right now.

okay.
let me start by citing a few examples which i came across.

a friend of mine in church has this problem.
it's not really a problem; let's call it a case.

he feels left out every now n then.
his friend(s) left him out on a few occasions for some activities.
he brooded on it quite terribly every time it happened.
maybe his friend(s) did it on purpose; maybe they didn't.

another friend told me how he thought of our church.
"i think our ministry has a problem.
i was talking to some of them tt day.
they seemed to be hiding some secrets frm me.
i tried to ask but they just didn't wanna tell me."
he felt tt he was excluded frm their discussions.
maybe they did it on purpose; maybe they didn't.

another person poured out her heart to me.
it was raining tt sunday.
she was w/ a grp of friends, hanging arnd in the Youth Room.
she was praying tt the rain wud stop soon.
so tt she cud go home (didn't bring umbrella).
she made known to her friends of her presence, clearly.
cos she was reading one of their newspapers.
they were expecting a ride in the church van down to pp.
n she had told them she wanted to go along too.
then they all went abt doing some stuff.
meanwhile she stayed in the room, waiting n reading the papers.
abt 30 mins later, she realised they all left, w/o her.
naturally, she felt very ostracised.
n she had to run home in the rain, sobbing.
maybe her friends did it on purpose; maybe they didn't.

alright.
u see, all the 3 examples have a similarity.

tt is, a sense of betrayal.

ok ok, u must be thinking tt i overstated things.
well, this is similar to wat i posted previously.
there is a terrible sound in the word 'betrayed'.
actually, i wasn't referring to betrayal.
i just dunno wat tt sense is called.
perhaps 'kena pang-seh'ed (left behind)?
i hope u get wat i mean.

so now it's my turn to get 'pang-seh'ed.

my church organised an outreach programme.
mainly for the teens n youths.
wasn't really an outreach.
cos we didn't involve alot of preaching.
just a programme to let others gather n relax.
it was called Chillin' Under The Stars.

we're all encouraged to bring our friend(s).
i tot it was a good idea to invite my really close classmates.

initially i asked abt 7.
then i realised the others wud feel left out if i didn't include them.
tt was why i asked 20+ of them along in the end.

cos they're all in cliques.

of cos, it was a good feeling leading such a large grp to church.
but it has its dire consequences.
abt half the grp left halfway.
do u noe how embarassing it had been for me?

they left a big space behind n we were sitting in front!

it ain't easy to get over it.
i thk God tt He shifted my eyes towards the remainder 9.
"ah, are they gonna leave too?"
i thot to myself.
they seemed to, at first.
but they were more sensitive to my feelings.
so they stayed on.
i was greatly moved.

to my classmates who went:
hey guys, u don't have to worry anymore.
cos i've gotten over it, really.

i understand ur situation then.
if i were u, most prob i wud do the same.
but i'm a Christian now.
so i might think twice b4 acting.
boon liang, thks for speaking up for the rest of them.
as for those who stayed on, u've been very kind to me.
thank you very much.
i can't be thkful enough to God for this.
n it was to my utmost surprise tt so many of u really turned up.

there's another consequence of bringing a big grp to church.
i didn't get to share w/ them abt Jesus at all!
i'm very guilty.
cos i didn't make myself useful to God's ministry.
i was unable to bring these pre-believers to Christ.
i didn't sow the seeds of salvation in any of them.
i didn't create the chance for them to be saved.
i learnt a lesson.
so wat if i had the quantity?
i didn't bring out the quality!

okay.
my point of sharing all these is simple.
it all boils down to a relation:

expectations <-> disappointments

i'm sure many of us have heard abt this b4.
"the higher ur expectations, the greater ur disappointments."
i never got to experience the meaning of this.
until the teenage yrs of my life.

ever since i got retained in Sec 3, i faced many struggles.
there may not be alot of retainees out there.
but i noe there are several ppl sharing common struggles w/ me.

ppl tell me i look like a clever boy.
they say i look like one who excels in his studies.
they expect me to do well just bcos i'm in a fairly good sch.
these ppl include my family members.
in the end my results in 2003 were utterly disappointing.

why?
bcos they expect too much frm me!

they have cooled down these 2 yrs.
they noe they shdn't expect too much frm me.

ya!
tt's true.
cos i'm indeed not a studious person.
i never liked studying.
i just dunno how the heck i got a fairly good 251 for PSLE.
my teachers told us something tt shocked me.
tt ppl of such calibre (240+) are supposed to score below 10 for O's.
maybe i'm of a different breed.
tt's why i always say PSLE ain't accurate in judging intelligence n hard work.
getting more thn 240 doesn't mean u're clever/hardworking.
getting less thn 200 doesn't mean u're stupid/lazy.

BUT, tt doesn't mean i'm gonna remain a slacker.
yes, ppl shdn't think highly of me.
but i shd oso strive to become the best i can be.

just don't think highly of me yet.
cos i don't wanna let u down.

another illustration of my point is this.
have u ever felt disappointed in ur friends?
like in the above cases, where u felt left out, etc.
have u thot tt it might have been due to high expectations?
tt u've expected too much frm them?

ya, i oso felt tt way sometimes.
i always tell myself not to expect much frm friends.
but i noe it's hard not to, esp when they are frm church.
he/she naturally wud expect much frm the ppl there.
cos church ppl have always been seen as nice n warm ppl.

we tend to forget they're humans too!
n we shd have the benefit of the doubt.
tt some church-goers might not be true disciples of Jesus.
tt they haven't been truly converted yet.
it's not easy to follow in His ways u noe.
altho God does help us along the way.

tt's why we shd understand them whenever we feel left out.
many churchmates told me they feel left out too.
even those popular ones.
those who seem forever cheerful.
u noe wat, i think it's normal to feel left out.
no matter where u are.

i speculate tt everee-one in church feels left out, at one time or another.
but i definitely don't insinuate tt church ppl tend to leave their friends out.
in my view, i say tt it's due to the circumstances.
usu. it's not bcos our friends deliberately planned to exclude us.
it's just the way things happened tt day.
tt cause others to unknowingly ignore us.

God places us in such situations to test us, to challenge us.
or rather, God allows satan to put negative thots in our minds.
thots tt tempt us to see the pessimistic side of things.
thots tt tempt us to leave the church, etc.
but God has given us free will.
it's up to us to choose which kind of thots to dwell upon.
n to choose which way to go.
we're not trapped by the devil.

aft the incident last sat, i chose to see it frm a diff angle.
it's good to go thru such challenges once a while.
cos this is just one of the many tests tt God wants me to endure.
thk God i didn't fare too badly for this particular test.
haha.

all of us always have 2 main options pertaining such tests.
n God always asks me these:

"so are u gonna be one of the weaker ones?
who leave the church just bcos they wanna avoid some ppl?
or are u gonna be one of the fewer strong ones?
who are just different frm the rest.
whose faith are not only mountaintop ones.
but they oso remain faithful even in the valleys.
which one are u, Glen?"

i pray tt i'll always choose the 2nd one...

Glen dunked at 9/11/2005 8:29:27 am

Comment (1)

The Lord Jesus blesses Glen with Sunday, September 04, 2005

When betrayed by a friend

this entry goes out to my sis n myself.
n to others who have been betrayed by their friends.

there is a terrible sound in the word "betrayed".
to betray someone is to deal treacherously(deceitfully) w/ them.
the more we love loyalty the more we loathe betrayal.

in a hard n cruel world such as this we're not surprised when we're hurt by our enemies.
but no one expects to be hurt by a friend.
few things wud have hurt our Lord more thn to be betrayed by one of His own disciples.

how do we cope w/ betrayal?
how do we handle our lives when we become a victim of treachery by a friend?

1st, we must take our pain to God.
n invite Him to invade our hearts w/ His soothing balm.
who better thn Jesus can sympathise w/ us in this kind of problem?
it is perilously(dangerously) easy to turn elsewhere for comfort - entertainment, etc.

some even attempt to push the matter out of awareness.

but all painful situations must be faced, tho they don't have to be dwelt upon.

we must let God minister to us in our hurt;
He is the only One who can "restore the soul".

bcos hurt can quickly escalate into resentment,
w/ the help of our Lord, we must empty our heart of all bitterness n - forgive.
forgiveness may not always bring abt changes in the other person

(nor guarantee tt he/she will want to be restored),
but it will ensure release for our own soul.

the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ stands n holds out wide appealing arms to all who have been betrayed.

it says: "this is how Jesus dealt w/ His enemies ... n the friend who betrayed Him."
in the light of tt great fact, can we do anything other thn forgive?

Scriptures to reflect on:

1. The closer the friendship, the deeper the hurt.
Psalm 55:12-14
If an enemy were insulting me, I could endure it;
if a foe were raising himself against me, I could hide from him.
But it is you, a man like myself, my companion, my close friend,
with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship
as we walked with the throng at the house of God.

2. Our Lord knew betrayal oso.
Luke 22:47, 48
While He was still speaking, one of the 12 approached Jesus to kiss Him,
but Jesus asked him, "Judas are you betraying the Son of Man with a kiss?"

3. Transfer all ideas of vengeance to God.
Romans 12:19
Do not take revenge, but leave room for God's wrath,
for it is written: "It is Mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord.

4. Let God restore ur soul.
Psalm 23:2, 3
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
He leads me beside quiet waters,
He restores my soul.

5. Don't hit back.
1 Peter 3:9a
Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing.

6. See how much u've been forgiven.
Colossians 3:13
Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another.
Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

7. Jesus forgave, He can help u forgive too.
Luke 23:34
Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing."

- Selwyn Hughes, Your Personal Encourager

Glen dunked at 9/4/2005 5:36:52 pm

Any comments?