|rhapsodies of the life of Glen Abraham Liang|

The Lord Jesus blesses Glen with Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Been thinking (about pretending)

i noe i've been thinking too much again.
i'm sorry my entries are always so boring.
i shd be thinking abt my O's instead of these.
can't help it tho.

read on if u're extremely free now.
it's gonna be l-o-n-g.

well.
something struck me again.

u see, i was never someone who studies hard.
u may ask how then i got quite a good PSLE score.
251.
tt was head ovr heels due to God's grace.

my point is i never study hard enough.
tt was the main cause of my downfall in 2003.
tt yr labelled me a retainee for the rest of my life.
but don't worry, i'm coping well w/ it.

i have a nature of slacking academically.
i never loved studying.
but now i seem to be so ever studious.
some of u may have seen me studying in public places.
like mac's, airport, etc.
maybe it was "studying".
cos many ppl wud start questioning.
"how can u possibly study w/ so many ppl n noises arnd?"

yup.
this is where the crust of my entry lies.
i choose to study where other ppl are arnd.
bcos i wanna pretend to be studious n hardworking.
i choose to study w/ study freaks, like MK.

bcos i need motivation frm friends.

ppl tell me i shd study alone.
ppl tell me i shd be self-disciplined.
but i've not been able to study at home.
it's too cosy.
i always feel drowsy n sleepy at home.
thus i need alternative motivations.

okay.

back to the pt of pretending to study in front of ppl.

initially i felt like it was wrong to pretend to be studious when i'm not.

but one day my chem teacher said something very encouraging.

"4-4, i can see some of u are actually day-dreaming now.

i noe u're just acting as if u're very attentive in my class.

but it's good u noe.

continue this way, cos one day u'll really understand my teaching.

those weaker ones, it's the same thing.

just pretend u're good in chem, cos one day it'll come true.

preferably b4 the O's la.

fake it till u make it!"

so now i apply tt in my life.

i noe sometimes in some places i try to be someone i'm not.

for example, in church, i act as if i'm really a good boy.

but now i noe one day i'll become a truly good n holy Christian.

not just in church, but everywhere else.

one day.

o ya i was discussing this w/ my sis the other day.
she oso shared w/ me her views.
she encountered a positive example of pretending.
she told me her friend was against the idea of being optimistic.

"why pretend to be smiley n bubbly when u're feeling hurt n depressed?"
her friend said.

my sis then told me how she felt.

one is able to make oneself glad by pretending to be joyful.
even when one is upset, his/her acting eventually dispels the sadness.

i totally agree w/ tt.
i really abhor those ppl who just enjoy being depressed.
they just like to be in the abyss of melancholy.
forever grumbling abt abt how their life sux, etc.

but they're not aware of something.
everyone else experiences a sucky life sometimes.
just tt they seldom let others noe abt it.

of cos, i don't mean we shd always 'act happy'.
just as the Bible teaches us, there's a time to mourn.

(Ecclesiastes 3:1-8)
but we shd noe when to stop mourning.

we shd oso try not to affect others w/ our grumbling.

it's a good thing to confide in friends abt our bad days.
but not to the extent of making the person feel bad.
it's not their fault tt we experience a bad day, right?

still, the best person to confide in is the Father of compassion.
the Lord.

most friends are there to lend us their listening ears.
thk God for them.
but the Lord will teach us His ways of handling our probs.
i'm sure God will make us feel better thn us grumbling away.

yup.
it's always better to make ourselves happy thn sad.
then everyone else will be happy!

FAKE IT till you MAKE IT...

Glen dunked at 7/6/2005 4:04:35 pm

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The Lord Jesus blesses Glen with Friday, July 01, 2005

I am a 40-Day Faster, hopefully an Everyday Faster!

yes!
the 40-day-fast thingy is here again.

actually i used to take very little notice of this annual practice.
but this yr i feel different towards this.
i read the intro of the booklet a few nights ago.
it seems so fun!

of cos it's not a totally fun thing.
it has its challenges.
but it oso has great rewards.
this is wat i'm gonna do during the 40-day period.

yes, i'm going to abstain frm meats only.
maybe only for two 10-day periods.
but i'm going to take lots of vegetables n fruits.
"You are free to fast however the Spirit leads you."
so i'm not breaking any rules ah.
other thn tt, i'm oso fasting frm Godless chatter, etc.

but the main thing i'm gonna fast frm is a bad habit.
actually i succeeded quitting this habit last yr.
i was actually fasting frm it for 40 days.
n praise God i didn't go back to it for the whole yr.
even when the 40-day fast ended!
but i made the biggest blunder of going back to it this yr.
so i pray tt God will deliver me frm this bad habit.
n may He take it away for good, thru this 40-day fast.

With God nothing will be impossible.

- Luke 1:37

No one who is born of God will continue to sin,
because God's seed remains in him(/her).
- 1 John 3:9a

When you fast, do not look sombre as the hypocrites do,
for they disfigure their faces to show men they are fasting.
I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full.
But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face,
so that it will not be obvious to men that you are fasting,
but only to your Father, who is unseen;
and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.
- Matthew 6:16-18

happy fasting, my fellow fast-mates!

Glen dunked at 7/1/2005 3:58:28 pm

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The Lord Jesus blesses Glen with Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Argh, no time!

errrrrrr!
26 DAYS TO PRELIMS.

got alot of inspirations for blogging.
but not enough time for all of them.
needa study ever-ree-day now.

all the time i have now shd be spent on studying.
by right.
of cos, some has to be spent w/ God n His ppl.
but i shd be reducing more time on stuff other thn O's.
so if i'm seen online or blogging, u noe i'm breaking the rules.

as i've little time for leisure now, i won't be doing much online.
this means i can only check my mail or blog a little.
i can't read great blogs like i did almost everyday in june hols.
i'm sorry dear friends.
i'll try to read ur blogs once in a while n maybe drop some tags.

yup tt's all for now.
like wat someone said, "it's gonna be a good O level."

Glen dunked at 6/28/2005 2:54:23 pm

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The Lord Jesus blesses Glen with Friday, June 24, 2005

God has a blog!

Glen dunked at 6/24/2005 11:11:49 am

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The Lord Jesus blesses Glen with Thursday, June 23, 2005

A common struggle faced by the Christian

I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.
For I have the desire to do what is good,
but I cannot carry it out.
For what I do is not the good I want to do;
no, the evil I do not want to do - this I keep on doing.
Now if I do what I do not want to do,
it is no longer I who do it,
but it is sin living in me that does it.

So I find this law at work:
When I want to do good, evil is right there with me.
For in my inner being I delight in God's law;
but I see another law at work in the members of my body,

waging war against the law of my mind
and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members.
What a wretched man I am!
Who will rescue me from this body of death?
Thanks be to God - through Jesus Christ our Lord!

- Romans 7:18-25

this is my struggle every single day.
is this urs too, my companions in faith?

Glen dunked at 6/23/2005 11:41:33 am

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The Lord Jesus blesses Glen with Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Replies to tags from some of the many who care for me

jas   Hey, I guess everybody got their own weaknesses.
         Like for me, I too have weaknesses especially when I'm at home and in school.
         I guess we just have to make that effort to be different no matter where we are at.
         I know it's going to be difficult but just have faith and hold on ya?
         I know you can do it.
         But always ask from God the strength whenever you're feeling weary.
         And thanks for being ever so faithful to tag on my blog even though i do not blog about my
         life too much.
         Hmm. I guess i have come up with the decision to study there.
         Thanks for your friendship! (:

thks jas!
i think i've not been asking God for strength.
so thks for reminding me.
btw u're welcome abt me tagging on ur board faithfully.
wow i'm faithful!

eveleen   heys. u know what? I think i am like u.
                  Having a split personality kinda thing.
                  It is hard to have a balanced christian life.
                  I struggle a lot.
                  But as each day passes, I get close to the Lord and it does not seem so hard anymore.
                  Go to the lord in prayer. Seek him for help.
                  hope I did not babble too much. hees.

eveleen, u noe wat?
i din really noe the fact tt other ppl do have split personalities too.
i always felt as if i'm one of the few who behaves so 'extreme'ly in my life.
thks for ur reminder to pray to God!.
no, u din 'babble too much'.
jas tagged even more.
haha.
but both of u weren't babbling.

ulrica to everyone   my korkor is just fine at home.
                                    good and bad i can see, but he's been a good boy. ((:
                                    it's inevitable tat the playful side surfaces once in a while. ((:

thankew Mei!
i hope i can be like u soon.
wherever u go, u're the same crazy little Mimi never stopping to rest.

estel   hm.. i guess all of us have problems with the real "me" issue.
            done the DISC test be4? it's like a personality guide.
            what others c u, & how u c urself as.
            can b quite confusing @ times.
            what u write shows tt u r capable of matured thinkin.
            though wad u r capable of might nt b what u think u truly r.
            b glad with wad u r capable of cus this is nt a gift that all have.

            i think tt wad i've learnt so far is nt 2 let others' judgement affect u on who u think u truly r.
            it's how u view urself tt is e most impt cus u will nt nid 2 ans to any1 & u'll b true to urself...
            smile always gland

lolx... so yar... haha ... my wrds are juz for reference

hey simin!
no, i din do the DISC test before.
might try it one day.
ur words are not only for reference but oso for application purposes.
thks alot!

sean   ay same here!
            split personalities is what u assume to handle different situations.
            its the ultimate in ur psyche to have splits.
            but dun worry. i also have.
            hehe and if u think ur profanities are bad.
            wait till u hear mine man.
            they dun include the f word too.
            but they are a rojak of bad stuff.
            haha...its our lingo man
            huang se xiao hua is not that bad la.
            once in a while crack a bit. wun die sia.
            juz dirty and lame.
            one day a pig tripped and fell into a puddle of mud.
            it broke its leg and got dirty.
            haha and socialising baby, is all about making first move.
            but cannot sound extra.
            its the trick man

ah sean!
here u are again, ever so ready to gimme advice.
haha.

ya i noe tt cracking 'yellow' jokes won't die.
but i rem the Bible does say, "Do not indulge in unGodly talk."
so i feel guilty everytime i crack dirty jokes.
btw, thks for teaching me how to socialise.
haha.
i'm actually tired of always making the 1st move.

-.:'m.K!~ best blog 2005!!
hey ur blog has received oscar nominations leh!

Mean Kid, stop 'suan'ing me!
there's no such thing as good blog or bad blog okay.
a blog is a channel to express ur views, emotions, etc.
n it's sometimes oso a channel to let others noe wat u want them to noe.
so how can u define wat's a good blog?
anyway thks for making me feel happy for a while.
haha.

tRaCy   God loves you the way you are.
               Don't sweat it or feel guilty man.
               I think many of us at one point or another can identify with you.
               As long as you are aware of it, then you are safe.
               Rock on!

wow tracy!
never seen u tag my board before.
haha.
thks alot!
yup one thing i'm thankful for is tt i'm aware.
if i'm not aware, then i'm worse!
well thks again.

marc   hey, glen every ones not perfect, like me
            although i seem so "good" in church, in school or somethimes at home
            i am a diff. person and we can always try to change.

thks marc!
yes i'll do my best to change.
see u in ur NCC uniform this saturday!

Andrew(#5!)   i don c any1 being perfect..
                           juz lyk "X"..
                           n me too..
                           chill..
                           need me, juz give me a ring..

hey andrew, it's been a long time since u last tagged here u noe?
i'm so happy to see ur name again.
haha.
thank you very much for making urself available!

shaun   even though we like dun actualli noe each other well..
               jus wanna tell u tt :
               dun worry u shud jus be urself it doesnt matter wat other people think..

hey is tt shaun lee?
woh thks for tagging man!
yup i shall be more like my real self the next time we meet.
see u on sat!

there are others who lifted me up thru their words of advice n encouragement.
u ppl smsed me n talked to me online, rem?
u noe whu u are la ah.
just wanna say thks to u too.
u are the ones who work backstage.
God will bless u for blessing me.
tell me if u want me to put ur name here k?
haha.
i din type ur names out cos i lazy.
n i don't wanna miss anyone out too.

To have a friend, be a friend first...

Glen dunked at 6/22/2005 8:48:31 am

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The Lord Jesus blesses Glen with Friday, June 17, 2005

Been thinking (about split-personality, hypocrisy & packaging)

i am tired.

i am sick.

i'm tired of acting like a gentleman in church.
i'm sick of behaving like a mature teen here in my blog.
but i can't seem to help it.

i feel like a hypocrite sometimes.
a tag frm someone's blog struck me.
(rephrased:)
"pls don't send all the holy msgs to others when u're (not setting a gd example).."
i do try to 'preach' sometimes.
preach in the sense of encouraging others using the Bible, etc.
but often i don't practise wat i 'preach'.

i think i have a split-personality.
i mean i have a split-personality.
n it's quite a big split.
like in the case of Chancellor Palpatine a.k.a Darth Sidious.
the only diff is i don't have an evil intention.
it's just tt i can't help being wat i am in school.
being rowdy.
being irritating (my classmates say my initials mean Guai-Lan).

being an S-Ol.

i tell you the truth.
no one on earth noes the real me.
not even my family.
only Master Jehovah in heaven noes the real me.
however, there are ppl who come very close to knowing the real me.
n sadly, they are my classmates.

CHURCHMATES (some, not all):
i'm not as mature as i appear to be.
i'm not as nice as i appear to be.
i just noe how to package my self-image quite well.
i'm sorry.

nevertheless, i'll do my best to be more like myself in the House of God.

CLASSMATES:
actually ah, i'm not tt bad aft all.
just tt i'm still trying to behave more like a Christian each school day.

perhaps you haven't seen my beautiful side yet.
i noe i'm a jackass.
i've been flashing my usual ugly self to you.
so i hope you guys will forgive me in this area.

okay let me share some characteristics of the real me.
don't be surprised/shocked.

well, i'm 1stly a very talkative young boy.
a little childish n very lame.
like my sis.
haha.
some may wonder why i seldom talk in church.
it's bcos i'm shy, where gals are arnd.

2ndly, i'm attention-seeking.
my form teacher can justify tt.
she once called me an attention-seeker in class.
man, i was so paiseh!
but i noe tt's true.

3rdly, i'm oso quite 'yellow' in some of my jokes.
since pri sch i've been like tt.

my classmate in Cedar Pri can verify this.
she wrote in my autograph book:

"You are humerous and fun to be with but yer jokes are too 'yellow', get it."
tell you another thing.

i had a crush on her then.
haha.

my heart broke into a million pieces when she said tt.
nah just kidding.

i tried to change, but to no avail.
my mind is corrupted.
wat to do?
tt's why i'm still struggling to be sanctified by the Holy Spirit.

4thly, i'm not very profane.
but i do blurt out unpleasant words.
"wa lan eh!"
"i hate those queue-cutting bestards!"
"those noisy 4-1 assholes again!"
one good thing abt me is i dare not say the F-word out.
so you'll never hear me say, "..."
i think i better not cite an example.
i pray tt when i go NS my willpower will be strong.
strong enough not to be peer-pressurised.

phew!
i feel so much better aft blogging a little abt my true self.
thank you all once again for taking the time to read this!

Glen dunked at 6/17/2005 5:30:49 pm

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